


Kilts + Jamesons + Shenanigans...Oh My

by ShadoKat771



Series: Old Friends, New Love [16]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Crack, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Truth or Dare, accidental nudity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-15 11:00:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18072164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadoKat771/pseuds/ShadoKat771
Summary: A game of Truth or Dare leads to spilling a secret.





	1. What Happens in Dublin, Stays in Dublin...or Not

**Author's Note:**

> Had a *lot* of fun putting this one together. Happy St. Patrick's Day, everybody!

It was a cool evening, and the Phoenix team was gathered around the fire pit of Angus “Mac” MacGyver’s deck behind his home. Everyone was relaxed and happy, playing one of their standard games:  Truth or Dare.

“Ok, Kait”, Bozer said, “your turn. Truth or Dare?”

She thought for a moment, then smiled. “Dare”.

Bozer brought out a small clear plastic tub filled with a creamy white substance. “Eat this vanilla pudding cup”, he replied, grinning, “ _ without _ using your hands or arms...or” he added quickly, “any appendage”.

“Challenge accepted”, she replied, motioning for him to set the cup in front of her. She pulled her strawberry blonde hair behind her head with both hands and winked at MacGyver, then leaned forward until her tongue touched the pudding.

Amidst the women cheering, MacGyver cleared his throat and reached for the large bowl of potato chips beside him, “I’m going to get some more chips”, he said.

“Why?” Matty asked, “that bowl’s still almost full”.

MacGyver sat back down with a thump, putting the bowl in his lap, feeling his blush going deeper.

By that time, the cup was almost empty. Kaitlyn finished with a grin. “My turn”, she said, sitting back up. “I’ve been around this team long enough to hear some things, but one thing’s bounced around that I’ve never got the story behind. And  _ this guy _ ”, she leaned over and gave MacGyver a one-armed hug”, won’t even tell me in private”. She looked at the group, “so with the exception of Leanna and Billy here, this is for all of you.Truth: What in the  _ hell _ happened in Dublin?”

Several things happened at once. MacGyver groaned, Riley choked on the sip of beer she had been taking, and Matty started laughing. After a few moments, things calmed down and Matty said, “you heard the lady. Start talking”.

Riley stopped coughing and recovered. “Looks like that would be me”, she said, grinning, “because Jack’s memory of it isn’t that good, and Mac”, she paused, giggling. “Mac, you were in no shape to remember anything”.

“Oh, no”, MacGyver protested, gesturing with his beer bottle. “I remember  _ everything _ . There  _ were _ dragons”.

“Well”, Riley began, “the way  _ I  _ remember it…”


	2. Paint the Town Green

“I’m telling you”, Jack said from the driver’s seat of the van, “never say something’s a piece of cake. You wind up falling into one of those dark holes nobody talks about”.

“This isn’t  _ Labyrinth _ , Jack”, MacGyver’s voice came over the comms. There was a pause, then he added, “although these corridors are starting to resemble one. How much farther, Riley?”

“Another 20 yards and you get to a T intersection”, Riley answered, checking her laptop in the back of the van. “You want to take the left side and go another 30 yards. The door should be on the left”.

“You know I should be down there with you”, Jack continued.

“Jack”, MacGyver replied, “these corridors aren’t wide enough for both of us, and you wouldn’t be able to stand up straight anyway”.

“Well, hurry up”, Jack said. “I’m looking forward to having an actual pint of Guinness in an actual pub”.

“Don’t worry”, MacGyver said, slightly irritated, “we’ll get there soon enough. I’m almost--”.

His words were replaced by a blast of loud, squealing feedback, causing Jack and Riley to wince and grab at their ears.

“Mac!” Jack yelled. “Mac, what happened?”

“I’ve lost him”, Riley said, tapping keys on her laptop. “His signal is just...gone”.

“Well,  _ find  _ him”, Matty’s voice came into their ears. “We can’t afford to lose this intel”.

“On it, boss”, Jack said, getting out of the driver’s seat of the van and heading down the manhole the van was covering.

A short time later, he crawled back up into the van. “There’s no sign of him, Matty”, he said, then laid the pieces of a broken comms earpiece and MacGyver’s Swiss Army Knife, it’s screwdriver/bottle opener open, on the counter next to Riley.”Just these”.

“Was there  _ anything _ else down there that could give us some idea where he went?” Matty asked, irritation coloring her voice.

“I’ll go back down and look”, Jack replied, climbing back down the hole.

After a few moments, Jack spoke through the comms. “Well”, he said.”I found his cell phone”, he paused. When he spoke again he sounded puzzled. “And his boots”. Another pause, “and I’m next to a ladder”.

“Give me a sec”, Riley said, getting up and putting down the cover to the hole. “I’m going to drive to your location and pick you up there”.

When they met up again, Riley went back to her laptop, Jack looking over her shoulder. “I’m not finding anything”.

“Um, guys”. Bozer suddenly spoke up. “Have you checked out the police channels? ‘Cause there’s some crazy chatter going on all of a sudden”.

Riley and Jack exchanged looks, then she tapped a few keys on her keyboard.

“...Ach”, a thick accented voice came out of the speakers, “this langered Muppet is acting the Rale Bulgarian. Jonesy, he’s headed your way”.

Another voice replied, “I see ‘im. He’s a clean on one, he is. He’s headin’ for Wellington Road”.

“Why do I think that’s our boy?” Jack asked no one in particular

“Because it might be”, Matty replied.

“On it”, Jack replied, putting the van into gear.

They sped through the streets of Dublin, looking for Wellington Road. They found it and noted that it emptied to an entrance to a large park.

“Phoenix Park”, Riley said as they passed the sign. Jack made a three-point turn at speed and they began driving up the smaller road into the park. “No sign of any police so far”.

“Well”, Jack said as he scanned the road ahead, “your bippity-boops took care of that”. He stopped the van at the end of the road. “That’s a trailhead”, he pointed out as he shut off the van’s engine. He was about to say more, when a group of older women exited the trail, giggling.

“Did you see anyone go up this trail?” He asked them.

That set about a fresh round of giggles and laughter.

“Oh aye, lad, we did”, one of them replied. “A handsome one, wearing only a kilt, ran up past us just now. Goin’ on about having to find a phoenix”.

Jack and Riley exchanged looks. “Mac?” Riley said quietly.

“I even saw his twig and berries as he ran”, another one giggled. “Very nice”.

“Did you see which way he went?” Riley asked.

“Aye”, the first woman who spoke replied, “he was runnin’ up the trail, babbling all sorts of nonsense”.

“Thank you, ladies”, Jack replied, nodding to them with a smile as they parted. Then he and Riley began jogging up the trail.

They had not gone far when they heard faint yelling and other commotion up ahead. They picked up their pace, and soon caught sight of MacGyver, running barefoot, wearing only a kilt of dark green tartan with small red stripes.

“MAC!” Jack yelled, “Stop!”

“No!” MacGyver yelled,”I can’t! They’ll catch me!”

“Who will?” Riley called.

“The leprechauns”, MacGyver answered, turning to face them as he ran, his blue eyes wide and wild. “They’re riding dragons! They’re after my lucky charms!”

“He’s higher than a kite”, Jack muttered to Riley. He noticed a nearby group setting up small pavillions for a picnic, watching them in bewildered amusement. “Bad cabbage”, he said to them, as he spotted a loose rope. “Can I borrow this?” At a silent nod, he grabbed the length of rope and began quickly fashioning a lasso.

“Jack”, Riley exclaimed, “ _ what _ are you doing?”

“Can you think of a better way of slowing him down right now?” Jack asked in return. “I was a Junior Champion Roper back in the day”. He slung the loop above his head, measuring, then let the rope fly. The loop landed around MacGyver’s shoulders, and with one tug, sent him to the ground, but he still struggled, muttering incoherently. Jack raced up to him.

“Did you have to hogtie him?” Riley asked, catching up to them.

“Old habit”, Jack replied, kneeling beside the other man. He glanced down. “He’s naked under there!”

“Well”, Riley said, “we’ve got to get him out of here,  _ now _ ”.

“Yes”, Matty said through their comms. “Get him back to the van, and I’ll make some calls”.

“Yes, ma’am”, Jack said, hoisting MacGyver up and putting him over his shoulder.

After returning the rope, Jack and Riley made it back to the van with no problems. MacGyver seemed subdued and Jack stayed with him in the back of the van while Riley took over driving.

“Alright”, Matty told them, “I’ve got a safe house outside of town that you can use. It’s an old inn, and they’re expecting you. I’m sending you the location on the van’s GPS”.

“Got it”, Riley said after a moment.

“How’s our boy doing?” Matty asked.

Riley glanced in the rearview mirror. “He’s not hallucinating as much”, she replied, “but he’s still not good”. She paused, hearing coughing, then some retching sounds.

“Aww, Mac!” Jack exclaimed.

Then the smell hit her nostrils. “Yeah, Matty”, she continued, rolling down her window as fast as she could. “Mac just tossed his cookies, all over Jack”.

A short time later, they pulled up in front of the inn Matty had told them about, and they were met by a robust, grey haired woman who introduced herself as Rose Murphy, the owner of the inn.

“Get the lad inside”, she said, when she saw them. “I’ve got rooms set up for you at the back, where you won’t be disturbed”.

They managed to get MacGyver into the room and cleaned up, settling him into one of the beds.

Jack excused himself, then returned a short time later, cleaned and in fresh clothing. “I think I’m going to have to burn those clothes”, he said as he entered the room, then looked at MacGyver. “How’s he doing?”

“He’s either sleeping”, Riley said, “or he’s unconscious”.

“Either way”, Matty said through comms. “he’s probably got rid of most of whatever drugs are in his system”. She paused. “Guys”, she said, “if there’s no change by morning, you’re going to need to break cover and get him to a hospital. In the meantime, it’s getting towards evening there. Get some rest”.

“Yes, ma’am”.

“I’ll take first watch”, Jack said, “you go get some rest”.

“Nuh-uh”, Riley shook her head. “I’m not leaving”.

“Look, Riles”, Jack began, “it’s been a long day, and I don’t want to argue--”. He was interrupted by a knock at the door.

“That’s probably Mrs. Murphy with some food or something”, Riley said, as Jack went to answer the door.

But instead of the Irish woman, there was a man at the door. He was Matty’s height, with flaming red beard and hair tucked under a grey tweed newsboy cap. He wore a kilt and suit jacket of dark green, with matching socks and black shoes. His green eyes twinkled as he spoke. “I’m Dr. Seamus O’Sullivan”, he said in a quiet voice. “I heard you were needing some assistance”. He walked past a stunned Jack and into the room. “You won’t be needing that, lass”, he continued, and Riley’s computer shut down quietly.

He moved to stand by the bed and took MacGyver’s hand in one of his own, placing the other on the blond man’s forehead. He made a soft  _ tsk _ sound and shook his head. MacGyver murmured something that only he heard, and he smiled. “Not yet lad”, he said softly,” but soon”. He closed his eyes, and seemed for a moment that the golden light of evening was mixed with a sparkle of green. O’Sullivan smiled again and opened his eyes. “That should do it”, he said. He gave MacGyver’s hand a squeeze before he let go, then looked at the other two. “He’ll be sleepin’ for a little while now”, he said. “When he wakes up, give him a good draught o’ that”. He nodded to a side table.

On the table was a bottle and three small glasses, set like the leaves of a shamrock. Beside the glasses were a stack of three coins and a small black object.

“I’ll be on my way now”, O’Sullivan said, grinning. “I apologize for the way you’ve been treated in our fair land. Hope this will make up for it”. He stopped in front of the  open door. “And Jack”, he added. “Don’t worry about the van”. With that, he was gone.

Jack and Riley let out breaths they didn’t realize they had been holding, and looked at each other. “What just happened?” Riley said.

“I don’t know”, Jack said, going for the door, “but I’m going to find out”. He opened the door and looked both ways down the empty hallway. “There’s no way he could have disappeared”. He looked at Riley. “Don’t go anywhere”, he said, then left the room.

A few moments later, he returned, a puzzled expression on his face. “Mrs. Murphy said nobody’s been in or out of the inn since we got here”, he said, closing the door behind him. “And the van’s as clean as a whistle, smelling like fresh salt air and cut grass”.

“I can do you one better”, Riley said, pointing to her computer. “This came back to life right after you left, so I did a search. There’s no Doctor Seamus O’Sullivan matching our description”. They both turned to look at the bottle and glasses on the table.

There was a groan from the direction of the bed. “What the hell happened?” MacGyver said, trying to sit up. “And where are my clothes?”

“Easy, Mac”, Riley said, getting up to go sit by him. She eased him back to a semi-reclining position. “It’s a long story”. She looked at Jack. “He did say to give him a good drink of that stuff”, she said, nodding towards the bottle.

Jack walked over to the table and picked up the bottle, then let out a low whistle.”This ‘stuff’ is Jameson’s”, he said, opening the bottle and pouring a good amount into each glass. He handed one to Riley and the other to MacGyver. “Bottoms up”.

“The proper term is slainte”, MacGyver said, then took a drink, as the others did the same.

“That’s some good whisky”, Jack said, then looked at MacGyver. “How are you feeling?”

“Like something’s been burned out of me”, MacGyver said with a cough. “But I’m much better than I was”. He looked at the table with the coins. “Is that a thumb drive?”

“It is”, Riley said, taking it from Jack. She plugged it into her laptop and tapped a few keys. “It’s the intel we’ve been looking for”, she said quietly. “All of it. And then some”.

“And those are pre-European Union gold coins, I’m guessing”, MacGyver added, nodding towards the table.

“I don’t know about you two”, Jack said quietly, “but I’m going to need a few refills here”.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still a bit left. Please leave a Comment and a Kudo on your way out. Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Just getting started, so stick around. Please leave a Comment and Kudo on your way out. Thanks for reading!


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